Lasers.

I'm sorry, but this post has nothing to do with lasers. I misled you and, for that, I apologize.

I've officially begun the first garage-cleaning of the year. Typically, I clean out the garage about five times a year. It's not because I'm a clean-freak or anything. Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm relentlessly messy and if I didn't clean the garage every few months we'd eventually lose the mini-van.

I have two character flaws... well, as far as you know... unless you read my wife's blog... that I wouldn't mind waking up tomorrow without. They are these: I am a pack-rat and I love to start projects, but I hate to finish them. This makes it very hard to keep my garage in any kind of order. Let's face it. It makes keeping my sock drawer in order.

Betsy has accused me of being a pile-maker. I make piles. If you walk through our house on an average day you'll see stacks of my belongings... books, video games, movies, CDs, clothes... EVERYWHERE. Some guys express their basic maleness by sleeping around, spreading their seed, making certain that their genes live on. Not me. I just leave my crap lying around everywhere I go. It could be worse. I could pee on stuff.

I guess the whole garage sale thing (Did I mention that we're having a garage sale? I think I did a few days ago.) is me trying to break out of my pack-rat routine. I'm even getting rid of some of my old Star Wars stuff... maybe.

The problem is that I've given myself no room to grow. I have so much junk and no place to keep it. In a way it's good because it keeps me from buying more junk because where would I put it? But in another way it's bad because... well, my house is full of junk.

(Note: I don't want you to think that our house is a maze of stacks of old newspapers and shoe boxes filled with decade-old cheesecake. Betsy sees to it that everything is kept clean and tidy. But it's pretty evident that there is a certain amount of stuff that is un-organizable. That's all me, not Betsy.)